Russian Lady wins her window seat

I stepped unto Mother Russia while the Delta Boeing was still firm on NY soil. When I came to my seat, a lady in rimmed square glasses and with scarlet nails full of sparkles was rummaging in her four bags which occupied both our seats. When I motioned towards the seats, “I’m not ready yet,” she told me calmly and then plunked into my cherished window seat. I watched dumbfounded as she snapped the belt over her ample tummy. “Excuse me, but that’s my seat by the window,” I tell her. “Oh really?” she asked without any convincing surprise in her voice “I guess my husband made a mistake when booking my seat.”
As I stand looking with a silly weak smile, she budges, but very unwillingly. “Do you get sick in the corridor seats?" I ask. “No, it’s just my size,” she motions towards her generous front, “so I prefer to have more….leg(?) room.” Need I say I relented. Hours later, I found myself sleeping like a baby on her trampoline shoulder.
[BTW, Russians think telling you that you are too fat or too skinny is a sign of love.]
Dinner options included ravioli or chicken and potatoes. As I watched the cart roll towards me, I noticed that everyone, everyone with a Russian accent inevitably chose the chicken. The American stewardess kept convincing everyone to try the ravioli. I, with my privileged Soho organic meat preferences, went with the ravioli, but as she kept moving down and the aisle, I started loosing my appetite. Everyone went with the chicken.The stewardess kept saying that she didn't know why no one was taking the pasta. "It's really good, it has cheese." she told a man who seemed to be indecisive. "I'll take chicken and potato" came the relentless answer. 
As the extent of my faux pas hit me, I couldn't eat my ravioli. Was I even really Russian? I had passed up on potatoes. 

Comments

  1. m. EvfrosiniaMay 30, 2017 at 12:49 PM

    Liza, this is really good! Keep writing. I would have gone with the ravioli, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownMay 31, 2017 at 2:00 PM

      Thank you! I'm glad we're on the same taste bud page:)

      Delete
  2. Weaver of Broken DreamsMay 30, 2017 at 2:38 PM

    If you squinted and hummed and chewed swiftly, you might have been able to convince yourself that it was just really, really poor pelmeni...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownMay 31, 2017 at 2:02 PM

      Great idea! Not sure everyone would buy it:) On my first trip to Russia, a man told me that food that didn't have meat was "grass.":)

      Delete
  3. UnknownJuly 8, 2017 at 8:23 AM

    :)

    ReplyDelete

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